Explanations on why some people might not want tone tags used on them.
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• Reasons for why they might not want them used.• “Does this mean tone tags are bad?”• How to go about not using tone tags for a person.
Explanations on why some people might not want tone tags used on them.
1. They can make communication harder.
For some autistic (& other neurodiverse) people, they don’t understand tone tags, and using them on them might make them more confused about your tone than they would be otherwise. This is especially true if multiple tone tags are used in one sentence (eg, “/g /nm /npa /srs”). For many people, stating what you mean outright is more accessible than tone tags.2. Some people can not remember tone tags.
Disabled people who suffer from brain fog, amnesia, or chronic fatigue are not always physically able to remember every tone tags and their meanings no matter how hard they try. This can make using tone tags on them extremely confusing or upsetting, as they would need to ask clarification (which is basically the antithesis of what tone tags are meant for).3. Some people feel as though tone tags are infantilizing.
This is a ”controversial” reason, and a rather subjective one, but a reason many people state is the reason they don’t like tone tags used on them. Having people assume that you don’t know their tone, especially if they’ve faced ableism in the form of infantilization in the past, can be triggering or aggravating. Not every autistic (or neurodivergent person) has issues with telling tone, and assuming they can’t can leave unsavory tastes in their mouths.4. Misuse of tone tags.
Tone tags are subject to misuse, especially tone tags like “/not mad,” “not passive aggressive,” and similar. Sometimes, these tags are used in conjunction with messages that are wondered in mean or passive aggressive ways that may make people feel as though they can’t point out the fact something was passive aggressive or rude. The same goes for other tone tags, such as /s, /j, and others.The misuse of tone tags can drive people away from them liking them being used on them.5. Personal Preference.
Some people just don’t like them! It may be a combination of reasons, or they just find them unhelpful and don’t like them being used on them.
“Does this mean tone tags are bad?”
No! Tone tags, above all else, are an accessibility tool used in text. Not all accessibility tools will be helpful for everyone, and in some cases, they may be actively harmful. Everyone’s needs are different, them being different doesn’t make the thing they don’t want to use bad.Or, to word it a different way: If someone asks you to use different pronouns on them, you wouldn’t saw “I’m going to use them anyways so people don’t get confused about who I’m taking to, sense they know you by [x] pronouns.”Someone who doesn’t want tone tags used on them because they don’t improve their level of understanding, or if tone tags actively hurt their understanding, shouldn’t be forced to have tone tags used on them.
How to go about not using tone tags for a person.
If someone tells you they don’t want tone tags used for them, or don’t want certain tone tags used for them, the way to accommodate that is easy.Do not use tone tags in messages directed at that person. That’s it! You do not have to stop using tone tags. Just don’t use them when talking to that specific person.